


I've Got A Dark Alley

by drxpdead



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Boys Kissing, Cheating, Dick Pics, M/M, Original Characters - Freeform, Revenge, Title is from a FOB song, car vandalism, elliot is a dirty scum bag, spray painting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-03
Updated: 2015-08-03
Packaged: 2018-04-12 18:10:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4489647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drxpdead/pseuds/drxpdead
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan and Phil are strangers who meet while trashing their ex-boyfriend's car - who cheated on them with each other</p>
            </blockquote>





	I've Got A Dark Alley

When he first woke up, Dan didn't think anything special would occur that day. For the last three weeks, nothing had changed in 9 to 5 routine: hit the snooze on his alarm five times before actually getting out of bed, check his phone for any important notifications, shower and get dressed and then head out to restaurant where he worked until his bones hurt. Then come back home, or hang out with his boyfriend, Elliot, until he was too tired to keep his eyes open. Go to sleep in repeat. 

There were variations, of course. The occasional night he spent with Elliot, or when he had a day off and would head downtown to pick up any necessities. But other than that, it was a constant schedule. 

So of course, this Wednesday should have been no different. 

He had succeeded the first part, waiting tables in the sweltering heat of the restaurant for far too long and sighing in relief when his shift was finally over. Elliot had texted him earlier, promising a relaxing night of take away Chinese and Harry Potter. How could he say no to that?

So here he was, curled under the blankets on his boyfriends bed and pouting at the television, wondering why the hell everyone cared so much about Dumbledore's death. Elliot had gone to get more popcorn because Dan had begged him for it for the last five minutes. 

It was nearing the end of the movie when Elliot's phone chimed in the bedside table. Dan glanced at it for a second. 

He wasn't a nosy person. He felt everyone deserves their privacy, and besides, he damn well wouldn't like it if someone went through his things without him knowing. It had never once occurred to him to ever go through Elliot's phone, no matter the circumstance. 

But... but a few seconds passed, and the phone had chimed three more times. He didn't want to seem possessive and jealous, he wouldn't even unlock it. Just see who wanted his attention so badly. It would just be a second. 

Phil: haven't seen you all day

Phil: sorry if that sounds clingy :/

Phil: you know how hard it is going through the day without kissing you?

Phil: very hard ;-)

Dan stared at the screen for a moment, trying not to jump to conclusions. It could have been a typo; autocorrect was a bitch like that. 

They'd been dating for almost two months now, and while it didn't seem like much, Dan liked to think they had something special. He really didn't want to indulge in the fact that he was being cheated on, that his boyfriend wasn't as loyal as he seemed. He never cancelled any plans they made together, never worked late enough to be deemed suspicious, so Dan had never worried about somebody getting in between them. 

Phil: of course there's other things that mouth can do

Okay, now Dan was taking it personally. 

Elliot: who is this??

He sent the text reluctantly, hoping that his fears weren't going to be confirmed. Elliot himself would be back at any moment, and he didn't want to be caught without having a reason. 

Phil: is that some kind of joke?

Phil: like we haven't been fucking for the past month

"Shit, did I miss the ending?" Elliot said as he walked back into the room, staring at the TV remorsefully. He didn't seem to notice that Dan was clutching his phone in his hands. Dan stared up at him, biting his lip and hating himself for being close to crying. 

"Who's Phil?" He asked timidly, watching as Elliot froze for a second and turned to face him, his eyes flicking down to the phone in his hands. The look on his face was enough to convince Dan.

"Not anybody important." Elliot said slowly, heading over to him and holding his hand out. "Why do you have my phone?"

Dan scoffed at him, standing up from the bed and holding the phone out of reach. "I don't think that's important right now. Why is he texting you, talking about all the things your mouth can do? And how you've been fucking for a month?"

Elliot opened his mouth, as if he was going to answer, but then closed it again. He looked at a lost for words, and Dan's chest was hurting. 

"So you've been cheating on me?" He asked shakily. "For a whole month, half the time we've been together, you've been sleeping with some other guy?"

"He doesn't mean anything, Dan." Elliot pleaded, moving slowly closer and trying to reason with him. "He's... he's exaggerating, it hasn't been a whole month-"

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" Dan yelled, shaking his head in disbelief. "Like you haven't been fucking some other person, while I sit here by myself, not having a fucking clue? You're a real joke, you know that?!"

"Why are you getting so mad about this?"

"Are you serious?" Dan laughed sarcastically. "I'm not gonna let this slide, Elliot! Your not supposed to sleep with other people. Did you forget that or something? It's a basic rule of dating."

The phone chimed in his hand again. He glanced down at it, then glared up at Elliot. 

"And now he's sending dick pics." He said roughly, throwing the phone and watching it hit the wall in front of him. His heart was racing in his chest and his blood was rushing in his ears. He was angry and sad and heartbroken all at once and he didn't know how to handle it. 

"I'm sorry, Dan." Elliot whispered, but Dan shook his head, snatching his jacket from the floor where he'd tossed it earlier. 

"That's really not gonna cut it." Dan snapped. "We're done. Hope you have fun with your little slut."

And then he left, slamming the door behind him practically running down the stairs. He was too inpatient to catch the lift. 

Two months thrown down the drain in one night. He hated to admit it, but breaking up with Elliot, so suddenly and despite the reason, wasn't easy. He'd grown very fond of him, and now all of that was gone. 

But he would try and not let it keep him down. He had better things to worry about than his cheating douche of an ex boyfriend and whoever he was sleeping with. 

But that wasn't enough to stop him from crying himself to sleep that night. 

***

Three days later

After three days of moping and trying to pretend like he was fine, Dan had decided he was past the grieving stage of his breakup, and now he was mad. 

It was an unsettling sort of rage that was constantly twisting his stomach and making him lash out at random times. He felt cheated (literally) and abused. Elliot had no right to make him feel like this, no right to beat him down and make him feel bad. Because he hadn't done anything wrong. He hadn't cheated on his boyfriend for a month behind his back and then tried to play it off like it was nothing. No, it wasn't his fault, so he shouldn't feel bummed out because of it. 

And he decided it was, in this rare moment, fair to exact revenge. He felt like he couldn't let Elliot get away with it. He needed to do something that would let him know that Dan wasn't just going to take it. And he had just the thing. 

Elliot's car was something very precious to him. Dan had sometimes felt like he cared more about it than himself; he washed it everyday without fail, even taking time to polish and make sure the inside was just as clean. He barley let anyone drive it, fearing there would be some accident that would put even a scratch on it. Well, Dan was going to make those fears a reality. 

The parking lot across from Elliot's apartment complex was empty, thank goodness, and Dan was relieved to see the car was the only one there. He was also glad he's chosen to come at night, when there was less of a chance of him getting caught. Not that Elliot wouldn't know who had trashed his car in the first place. 

He stared at the vehicle maliciously for a moment, as if the heavy machinery had been the cause of this whole thing, before pulling out the hammer he'd stashed inside his jacket. He took a deep breath and raised it high, and-

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

Dan turned at the unfamiliar voice, hiding his hands and the hammer behind his back. He squinted, trying to focus on the tall figure coming towards him. Shit, he was busted. He was gonna go to jail, wasn't he?

The guy stopped in front of him, and Dan didn't know what to say. He was almost as tall as him, just reaching Dan's nose probably, and was wearing all black. His hair was dark, also black if Dan had to guess, and his eyes seemed dim in the dark of the shadows that surrounded them. 

"Were you just about to smash my ex boyfriends car with a hammer?" The guy continued, staring at him curiously. Dan swallowed anxiously and shrugged. 

"Maybe." He answered. Then narrowed his eyes. "Wait. Ex boyfriend?"

The guy nodded and sighed angrily. "Yeah, emphasis on the 'ex'. Found out the bastard was dating another guy at the same time. For longer than we'd been together too. Like I was some booty call or something." He grinned weakly, and Dan was shocked when he held up a can of spray paint. "Guess we had the same idea."

"Wait." Dan shook his head and closed his eyes, still trying to process this whole thing. "Are you... Phil?"

"And how'd you know that?" Phil asked, obviously confused. 

Dan laughed, running his fingers through his hair. "I'm Dan. Um, I don't know if he told you-"

"You're Dan?" Phil exclaimed, staring at him in surprise. Dan nodded. "Well shit. You're hotter than I expected."

Dan smiled at that but then glared at him. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Phil held his hands up in mock surrender. "Sorry, no offense or anything. Just, he said you weren't that attractive."

Dan crossed his arms, muttering curses under his breath. 

"Well this is just ironic then." Phil said, looking around them amusedly. 

"I wouldn't say ironic." Dan replied. "More... amazing or destiny induced."

Phil laughed at that, and Dan smiled at the way his tongue stuck out slightly. He looked a lot younger when he laughed. "Well, Dan. Are we just gonna stand here or are we gonna give this cheating son of a bitch some justice?"

Dan nodded in agreement. "I think I'll go with the justice."

"Um." Phil said, pointing at Dan's hammer. "Do you really think that was such a good idea?"

Dan stared at it, then back up at Phil. "What do you mean?"

Phil laughed. "Think about it. You smash his windows, and everyone around us will hear it. Then call the cops, and we'll both end up in jail. Do you really want that?"

Well he hadn't thought about it like that. He dropped the hammer and sighed. "What am I supposed to do, then?"

Phil smirked and pulled out another spray paint can, holding it out to Dan triumphantly. "Good thing I come prepared."

Dan smiled and took the can, and they both proceeded in the ruining of Elliot's car. 

They had to hold their shirts over their noses because the fumes of the paint were entirely overwhelming and Dan was sure he would pass out. It wasn't an elaborate art project, just them painting over the car as much as possible, and Phil writing 'douche bag' across the hood. But it took them less than ten minutes, and soon enough, they were standing back and admiring their work. 

Phil patted his shoulder appreciatively. "I think that ought to do it." He said, sounding almost proud. "He will definitely be pissed."

Dan agreed with that fully, and was turning to say something else, but was interrupted by an angry shout from behind them. 

"What the hell?"  Dan would recognize his ex boyfriends voice anywhere. 

"Shit." Phil cursed from beside him, and without warning, grabbed Dan's wrist and pulled them across the lot away from an angry Elliot. Dan didn't pull away, trying not to trip over his own feet as they ran down the street desperately. Elliot didn't seem to be following them, probably more concerned about his newly decorated car, but they didn't want to risk it. 

His legs started to ache after a minute, but he must have been going through some kind of adrenaline rush because he didn't stop. His heart was racing in excitement, and Phil looked back at him with a wide grin, clearly feeling the same way. 

After another few minutes of running, Phil paused and pulled him into an alley that was dark and slightly damp, leaning against the brick wall behind him and laughing heavily. 

"Oh my god. That was kind of fun." He said through heavy breathing, running his hands across his face. "My hands are shaking, Jesus."

Dan laughed and nodded. "Same. But that was awesome."

"Did you see his face?" Phil asked excitedly. "He's gonna kill someone."

Dan was trying to even out his breathing again, when the thought came to him. "You think he'll know it was us?" He asked lowly. The idea had been there before, but it was much more prominent, now that he's actually gone through with his plan. Phil shook his head. 

"Maybe." He muttered. "But he wouldn't tell. Not after everything he's done."

Dan nodded, but he didn't know if he was reassured completely. He was too young to be incarcerated. 

They were still catching their breath and giggling occasionally and Dan realized, with one of the street lights shining in on them slightly, that Phil's eyes were blue. If he was being honest, he could see why Elliot had chosen Phil. He was really goddamn pretty, and Dan found it a bit weird that he had the smallest crush on him. So what they had gotten back at Elliot together? Was that enough for Dan to actually not be mad at him for hooking up with Elliot. But...

But from the sound of it, Phil hadn't known about Dan either. He hadn't known that Elliot was a fucking ass wad that had two boyfriends at the same time, and Dan couldn't put any blame on him. 

"You know." He said shyly. "You're hotter than I expected, too."

Phil bit his lip and smiled, and Dan wasn't sure, but he could have sworn he saw the other guy blush. And he looked so adorable, Dan couldn't help it. He reached out, grabbing the back of Phil's head and kissing him firmly. 

Later on, he would try and tell himself it was the adrenaline; the rush of them nearly being caught and probably sent to jail. Or all the mixed emotions from his breakup with Elliot and the way Phil was smiling at him. 

But right now, he closed his eyes and kissed the attractive guy in front of him without a care in the world, and when Phil slid his hands up to Dan's waist and kissed him back, well, that was just perfect. 

They could feel each other hearts beating rapidly still through their chest, and maybe they were both a bit sweaty, but they didn't pull away, and Dan didn't think he ever wanted to. He needed something that felt good after all the shit he'd been going through the last few days. 

Phil pushed him back against the wall behind him, running his hands under the fabric of Dan's shirt hotly and tracing his tongue against Dan's lips teasingly. Dan groaned in response, opening his mouth invitingly, but Phil pulled away. 

"You said something about destiny earlier, yeah?" Phil whispered against his lips. Dan stared at him, trying to focus on his words and come down from the cloud he was on. 

"Yeah." 

"Well, I think I might agree with you on that part." He said, smiling and leaning down to kiss him again.


End file.
